Monday, May 8, 2017

weight loss attempts again

I came up with this diet plan.
start at 2500 calories (because I weigh 250) and reduce by 20 calories every week, or 3 or 2 calories per day.  So the first day I ate 2500 cals, second day 2497 cals, 7th day 2480 cals.  I did that for a week.  Today sunday (it's monday according to the clock but I haven't gone to sleep yet, so it's sunday) I went out to eat and did not count calories.  I could easily go back on the plan tomorrow, going down to 2477 cals.  But now I'm thinking that I want to cut down to 1800 because I'm afraid that my plan will make the weight loss take too long.  I've tried to lose weight for a long time now.  I've had some success, I once lost about 50 lbs, but then fell into depression well and gained it back plus more.  I want to do something that I can stick with long term, but I also feel gross as fat as I am right now and I think that *being* this fat is contributing to my depression, for various reasons.  I'm wary of trying to stay under 1800 and then freaking out and eating 4 pizzas or something.  So I think I'll try having 2477 etc as a higher limit?  if I feel i can't stay under 1800.  I also need to start walking more and being more active in general.  I've been languishing on this couch.  I've actually been feeling weak, like I can't walk, sometimes.  So my lower goal for now will be to walk 5 minutes out of every waking hour, and my higher goal will be 7 miles per day.
If that whole "losing two pounds a week" thing can really work (again), then I think I might stop feeling gross in about 30 weeks.  That's when I would be down to 190, that's when I would be out of the "obese" categorie on the bmi chart, and that would be about how much I weighed that one time at tarleton when I was crying about bursting out of my size twelve jeans.  People say all kinds of contradictory things.  I just hope that I am not stuck being fat forever.  If it takes 4 years to get completely unfat, I can deal with that, but if after 4 years I'm still fat, actually, probably before that, if I follow this diet/exercise plan and after 1 year I haven't lost any weight, I will go to a doctor or something.  But I think I probably will, because I did before.

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