Wednesday, August 8, 2012

school, updates

It's weird to me how other people talk about graduation.  Like it's just something normal, something they do every day.  To me it was a terrifying mystery, but then I kind of avoided high school graduation, but then I encountered the same thing with college.  Now if everything works out, I'm going to "graduate" next year.  It seems really weird, but not as scary as before, because now I'm planning to just move back in with my parents.  We live in a big city so it seems like as good a place as any to find a job.  I feel a lot better about this stupid "life" thing now that I've realized I don't have to "move out".  Perhaps I will do that some day, but you know the point is that I can do it whenever I want to.  not think about other thing

I hope it works out.  I'm still not sure if I can actually pass that stupid senior seminar.  It's going to be the same person "teaching" it, and I'm still not going to know real analysis or complex analysis, so I'll probably still fail that stupid exit exam, and they'll still want me to do that portfolio that I didn't even understand and a project.  But whatever.  I will figure it out.... and if it doesn't work,... i can try again or I can switch to majoring in spanish or something.

god my neck hurts.  Not as bad as ever but more persistent.  I don't know what to do.  The popping doesn't go away.  Doctors should know everything.  Tracie said that doctors only do "medical" things, but that's (can't think of a nice way to say) FUCKING RETARDED.  Doctors are supposed to know about health, not just drugs.  A doctor should be able to tell you that you need physical therapy, not just give you a drug.  A doctor should be able to tell you that you should lose weight, not just give you drugs for high blood pressure.  A doctor should be able to give you advice on how to lose weight or refer you to a nutritionist, not just kick you out of the office and leave you to figure it all out on your own.  I don't have any idea how to find a physical therapist or a nutritionist.  I have some vague idea how to find a doctor.  The doctor should be able to help me.  But apparently they can't/won't.

I haven't eaten any meat since june 17th.  Oo, I'm coming up on two months!

So I guess I'm going to get a refund check of 1000-1500.  Blarg, I wonder if they have scholarships for the spring.  Oh well it will work out somehow I think.  I'm starting to feel scared or nervous or something.  This is the best choice though I think given what I know.  I'm going to go read more of my math history book now.